One of the many Greek sayings I find both amusing and poignant is: “os ke o trellos fovate ton methismeno – even the crazy person is afraid of the drunkard.” The lesson there is that a drunk acts in such a disturbing manner that it scares the daylights out of even a mentally deranged person, whose own behavior frightens others.

Following that logic, both the insane and the inebriated should be afraid of an even more alarming type of person: the conspiracy theorist.

Last summer, many of America’s cities were pillaged by rioters and looters – some simply being thugs for hire and others just looking to score some free swag, but others yet, indoctrinated by decidedly left-of-center mainstream media outlets and schools, and by their own parents who, a generation earlier, were indoctrinated by those same institutions, manifesting that ideology into domestic terrorism.

It’s rare to find another group more catastrophic to our inalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness than radical leftists, but rightwing conspiracy theorists are even worse. 

Is there anything more contemptible than watching a news clip of a goon using the pole of a Black Lives Matter banner to break through the window of a Walmart? Yes: one using the pole of a Confederate flag to break through the window of the U.S. Capitol.

Why is the latter type worse than the former? Well, besides that I don’t want the Democrats to hold onto power in DC, and every time a rightwing lunatic wreaks havoc it means fewer uncommitted voters the GOP is likely to sway in the next election, the radical right is also scarier than the radical left.

Let’s compare the two. A loony leftie believes that Vladimir Putin has compromising photos of Trump with Russian prostitutes engaging in unorthodox sexual fetishes and held those over Trump’s head during Trump’s presidency, blackmailing him into doing Putin’s bidding, and/or that Trump wants to build a bunch of resort hotels in Russia and needs to stay on Putin’s good side to do that. Therefore, the lefties purport, for the sake of preserving his electability and adding to his fortune, he’ll sell out the United States in a heartbeat: “Heck, he’d sell out his own mother. He doesn’t care about his country or even his family. He only cares about himself.” Ok, wacky stuff, to be sure, but wait, it gets wackier…

The rightwing lunatics believe that there is a pedophilic cabal comprising various prominent Democrat families – such as the Clintons and the Obamas – who not only fornicate with children they’ve trafficked into sex slavery, but also kill them and drink their blood, which is the fountain of eternal youth. And then, they bury the bodies underneath the White House lawn, adhering to the “hide in plain sight” theory: “it’s too obvious to look there.” Not to sound cold, but if Bill and Hillary have been drinking kids’ blood by the gallon in order to look young, it ain’t working!

Do you see the difference in the comparative levels of bat-turd lunacy? To summarize: a Russian hooker peeing on Trump? Highly unlikely. Bill Clinton guzzling a murdered tween’s plasma? Even less likely.

Moreover, the left rubber-room candidates believe that American institutions are systemically racist. That their policies are designed to suppress the upward social and financial mobility of anyone not white, male, heterosexual, and Christian. That congressmembers, bank presidents, film moguls, college admissions boards, and even professional sports team owners want to cultivate and preserve a lily-white culture around themselves and throughout their organizations.

But their counterparts on the right one-up them yet again: they believe American institutions are systemically treasonous. The plot is to overthrow the government and create a One-World Order. Some insist – I kid you not – that the real Clintons, Obamas, Chuck Schumer, Nancy Pelosi, and many others, including Hollywood celebrities like Tom Hanks, have already been tried and executed at Guantanamo Bay, and the ones walking around here in the U.S. are body doubles. Whew! Thank goodness for real American heroes who are fighting the good fight down at Gitmo, and also for the brave envoys who keep us informed about what’s really going on, unlike the 99.9% of journalists who are in on it and keeping mum.

Chuck Todd may be a spineless media malpractitioner, but he’s not covering up for Democrat cannibals.

Regarding the 2020 election, I continue to applaud audits, but not for the reasons you might think: I’ve long said, and written, that year after year elections are troublingly inaccurate, mostly because of incompetence, but with enough corruption (there should be none) to raise an eyebrow. That’s why elections need to be placed under the microscope, in general, not because of some foolish notion that Donald and Melania are coming back to displace Joe and Jill (well, at least not until January 2025).

But a guy who sells pillows for a living thinks otherwise, and says he has the smoking-gun evidence to prove it. That makes perfect sense, doesn’t it? That droves of professionals – including those working for the Trump campaign – can’t get their hands on it, but the supersleuth who uncovers the conspiracy is the guy who promises you the best night’s sleep in the whole wide world.

If only the crazies were limited to mock-worthy pillow salesmen. Sadly, they’re not. On August 10, Matthew Taylor Coleman drove his two-year-old son and ten-month-old daughter from California to Mexico, where he killed them both, because, as he told authorities, QAnon made him do it. Coleman thought his wife possessed a type of “serpent DNA” and passed it on to their children, and they’d grow into monsters. He killed them, he said, in order to save the world.

Yes, it’s scary. Really, really scary that grown people think this way. Technology largely is to blame. Unfortunately, one of the inevitable side effects of freedom is that any nutcase is allowed to log on to Facebook or Twitter without a license. And that’s where the indoctrination begins: far, far worse than the “Donald Trump hates women and blacks” version taught in school.