x

You’ve reached your limit of free articles for this month.
Get unlimited access to The National Herald,
starting as low as $7.99/month for digital subscription & $5.99/month for a delivery by mail subscription

Columnists

Why Some Love Endures

December 24, 2021

For many years, perhaps most of my life, I was absolutely convinced that love is something that ends early, with all that entails – the compromises, disappointments, and betrayals. Until I met…them.

The man was already 83 and his wife 73. They sat side by side on the sofa, and everything in the way they spoke or behaved gave me a sense of calm and kindness. He caressed her hand every now and then, and she listened carefully to everything he said, looking him in the eyes and answering him with a smile. In all his replies, “she” was there – how beautiful, how capable, how smart. In each of her replies a sweet, warm “my” next to his name, a squeeze to his hand… I felt strange, “is it possible” I thought, “at this age?”

Leaving I asked their son, “is that always the case?”

“Yes,” he replied. “It’s been that way since I can remember.”

“They definitely got married out of crazy love,” I added.

“They had no relationship before they got married,” he replied.

What makes a relationship not just stand the test of time but evolve into an environment of love and romance? Is it just a matter of choosing the right partner? But then, how can two people who knew little about each other before getting married live harmoniously? Is it all luck or fate, or is there something else?

It seems that in order for a relationship to be creative and survive over the years, there must be three harmonious components in abundant quantities, as Demian Bucay mentions in his book Guide to Romantic Relationships.

The first is, as one would expect, love.

Of course, such a concept cannot be easily defined, because it is perceived in many different ways. Everyone has their own way of perceiving and expressing their love and it is important that the way they do it is compatible with that of their partner. For me the meaning of love has in it the feeling of joy and peace, when I think that someone exists are part of my life. It may be something else for you.

The second is erotic passion – that very strong feeling that pushes us towards one another. It is what usually dominates us at the beginning of a relationship and very often we confuse it with love. But love takes its time, while passion can be instantaneous and even temporary. And yet, as Bucay states in his book, there is hope that passion will be kept alive over time. As long as there is lovemaking, admiration, and humor. And not necessarily all three together. If there all of them are strong, that is the best, but only one of them is enough. An active sex life can keep a couple together, but a similar passion is created by admiring each other, or even humor that can be particularly effective in maintaining a relationship.

The third component is the common plan, i.e. the couple has the desire to have a common path in life, their life plans, their expectations, and their basic principles and values ​​match those of the other. If one does not want a family and children and his partner’s dream is exactly that, then no matter how much love there is, no matter how passionate their relationship is, the problems will not be long in coming.

Perhaps these three ingredients have kept the elderly couple’s life so beautiful for 57 years now. Not just those, but with a lot of work. They had the materials, but they worked them well all these years. Because no relationship, no matter how beautiful it starts, no matter how successful it is, is going to last if the couple does not invest time and effort in it, if they do not discuss, if they do not solve difficult problems, if they do not fight daily for the one they love. Even the hardest rock can break, and the beginning of the end can be a very small – almost imperceptible at first – crack.

RELATED

After claiming it wasn't responsible for refugees on an overcrowded boat who drowned in an overcrowded fishing boat on June 14, 2023 because it was in international waters, Greece’s attempt to blame nine Egyptians sank when a Greek court said it had no jurisdiction.

Top Stories

Columnists

A pregnant woman was driving in the HOV lane near Dallas.

General News

NEW YORK – Meropi Kyriacou, the new Principal of The Cathedral School in Manhattan, was honored as The National Herald’s Educator of the Year.

Video

‘We Have Nothing.’ As Israel Attacks Rafah, Palestinians are Living in Tents and Searching for Food

DEIR AL-BALAH, Gaza Strip (AP) — The tent camps stretch for more than 16 kilometers (10 miles) along Gaza’s coast, filling the beach and sprawling into empty lots, fields and town streets.

ATHENS – The sessions and luncheon of the second day of the 4th International Conference on Religious Freedom presented by the Archons of the Ecumenical Patriarchate of America, Canada, Australia and Europe were held at the iconic Zappeion Megaron in Athens on May 28.

LANSDOWNE, PA – Veterans of Foreign Wars (VFW) Eleftheria Post #6633 of Upper Darby, continued to observe Memorial Day as it has since 1946 at Fernwood Cemetery in Lansdowne.

ATHENS – Aria Hotels, the Greek-born hospitality subsidiary of Libra Group, will build and operate four vertiports to support the uptake of electric vertical take-off and landing (eVTOL) aircraft in Greece.

VATICAN CITY (AP) — Pope Francis apologized Tuesday after he was quoted using a vulgar term about gay men to reaffirm the Catholic Church’s ban on gay priests.

Enter your email address to subscribe

Provide your email address to subscribe. For e.g. [email protected]

You may unsubscribe at any time using the link in our newsletter.