The purpose of this week’s column is to appeal to voters who are center or center-left, reliably vote Democratic, but consider many if not all aspects of ‘wokeness’ every bit as absurd as do their counterparts on the right. However, many among such reasonable Democrats – who, sadly, are waning in number – aren’t quite aware of how prevalent wokeness is and how dramatically it has hijacked mainstream society.

I’ve long written that as delusional as the far left is, the far right is a special kind of crazy. While today’s leftists (who are not your father’s respectful openminded liberals; they’re cancel culture fascists) think they’d love to live in a Marxist society, their wingnut counterparts on the right think citizen advocacy is invading the Capitol dressed like Vikings.

But here’s the difference: you can fit most if not all of the far right crazies who think the Clintons drink children’s blood to stay young on one New York City square block. Not so the loony lefties; they’ve permeated the fabric of our nation, and have now infected – pun intended – none other than the American Medical Association (AMA).

Hold on to your hats, folks, in case you haven’t heard: the AMA now recommends removing gender from birth certificates.

So let’s consider a young, married couple about to have their first baby. They sign up for weekly visits to the doctor, who belongs to this organization that recommends that when their offspring is born, it’s better not to state for the record whether it’s a boy or a girl. And yet this couple is supposed to trust the judgment of that individual? (NOTE: in fairness, that physician, and many, many others, may in fact recognize the AMA’s position for what it is: poppycock.)

Why stop at gender? Why not remove date and place of birth? In fact, let’s just end all of the immigration controversy now by encouraging all PHIs (Persons Here Illegally) to simply alter their birth certificates and identify as having been born in the United States? And…..presto – instant American citizenship!

I’ll go one better: no disrespect to the memory of my actual father, but I think I’ll change my birth certificate because I now self-identify as the son of Charles Philip Arthur George. For those who don’t know my “dad,” he’s better known as King Charles III, the reigning monarch of the United Kingdom. Self-identifying as his first born renders me crown prince to the throne. Sorry, haters, but I thought of it first.

Not too long ago I was told about a high school boy who self-identifies as a wolf and howls in class. And the teacher allows this to go on!

Oh how I wish I was that ‘wolf’s’ teacher: I’d pull the kid out of class and tell him: “sorry, you can’t be here anymore. This school is for humans only.” Then, as an act of kindness toward a fellow mammal, I’d drive him out to the woods and explain: “you have to live out here. You see, this is where wolves habitate. And they usually live in packs, so start howling and hopefully they’ll find you.”

Keep in mind, the AMA’s recommendation aside, professional psychiatric and psychological organizations continue to define gender dysphoria as a mental disorder.

This probably should go without saying, but just in case, here goes: none of this is to mock the plight of individuals truly tormented by their biological gender and feeling hopelessly out of place among their fellow human beings. It’s easy for the rest of us – who identify by our actual biological genders – to take that for granted. Just as I believe that homosexuals deserve just as much respect as anyone else, so do transgenders. But there’s a difference: a man attracted not to women but to other men is still a man and identifies as such. However, a man who calls himself a woman is nonetheless still a man. Shall we call him ‘she’? Shall we let ‘her’ compete on girls’ high school sports teams and occupy the same locker rooms and showers? If that person commits a felony, should ‘she’ be incarcerated in an all-female prison, where ‘she’ may potentially impregnate other inmates? Frankly, I don’t understand why Gs (gays) Ls (lesbians) and Bs (bisexuals) haven’t broken away from Ts (transgenders), because sexual orientation and biological denial are two different things.

Thankfully, people are beginning to wake up. The absurd term ‘Latinx’ – invented to combat the gender-specific binary choice of Latino or Latina – has been overwhelmingly rejected by Hispanics, who admirably and defiantly condemn any attempts to remove gender from their cultural and linguistic heritage, in which it plays an honored role. Even the progressive Miami Herald has come out against it. Recently, Latino scholar and activist Joseph Contreras fessed that “when I first saw the word, I thought it must be a typo.” He explained that none of his fellow Miamians uses it.

Essentially, Latinx is almost exclusively used by hopelessly woke whites, laughably trying to be hip even as they butcher the pronunciation, droning on the ‘ell’, conjuring images of native Greeks chuckling at their Greek-American counterparts trying to say “πολύ καλά.”

Fear not, trust fund babies who never saw a brown person in your life until you threw out the silver spoon and moved into a city college dorm room, I’m joining your cause. I hereby renounce the use of my first name, Constantinos, as it is unmistakably masculine (well, a lot of non-Greeks still get confused), and whose female counterpart is Constantina.

From now on I shall call myself…Constantinx! We’re all in this together, my brothers and sis – oh, wait, I can’t say that, I mean, my fellow human bei- oh, never mind.