Greek-American Stories: Famous Quotes

There are ordinary citizens who have changed the world and written books that have inspired minds. Then, there are government officials, newscasters, newspapers, sportsmen, and Celebrities – even presidents, who have neither inspired nor changed anything. Please let me give you a glimpse at some of the less bright – (unusually stupid) findings I’ve collected.

Arthur Levine, Pres. at Columbia University: “The fundamental problem with being poor is that you don’t have enough money.”

Vice Pres. Dan Quayle: “It isn’t the pollution that’s harming our environment.  It’s the impurities in our air and water that is doing it.”

Pres. of U.S. George W. Bush: “Remember Lincoln, going on his knees in times of trial in the Civil War and all that stuff. You can’t be! And we are blessed. So, don’t feel sorry for – don’t cry for me, Argentina.”

Bank Robber’s note to teller: “Milk, loaf of bread, pick up laundry.” (Wife will hear from him.)

Philadelphia mayor Frank Rizzo: “The streets are safe in Philadelphia; it’s the people who make them unsafe.”

Major Gen. Chas, F. Kuyk, Jr.: “The air force is pleased with the performance of the C-5A cargo plane, although having the wings fall off at 8,000 hrs. is a problem.” (He’s got a point!)

Player speaking to coach:  “One of our players has real charisma.” Oklahoma coach: “What?” Will he be okay by Saturday?”

Reporter: Do you think it might rain that day? ”Football coach: ”What do you think I am? A geologist?”

Nabisco cheese label: FOR BEST RESULTS REMOVE CAP”

Nissan manual: “The speedometer measures speed.”

Honda manual: ”If you crash, you may be hurt”

Volvo manual: To stop vehicle, release accelerator and apply brakes.”

News dispatcher: “The Senate crime bill [the Senate] passed a bill that would reinstate the Federal death penalty for certain violent crimes: assassinating the president, hijacking an airplane, and murdering a government poultry inspector.” (Now, that’s a really fowl offense)

Pres. Gerald Ford: “Mr. Nixon was the thirty-seventh president. He had been preceded by thirty-six others.” (His math is good.)

Pres. George W. Bush: ”And there is no doubt in my mind – not one doubt in my mind – that we will fail.” (Applause?)

Vice pres. Dan Quayle: “If you give a person a fish, they’ll fish for a day. But, if you train a person to fish, they’ll fish for a lifetime.”

Sign in Lakewood, Colorado lot: PARKING FOR BLIND ONLY.

Sign by elevator in Federal Reserve Bank in Boston: IN CASE OF FIRE, EVACUATE THE BUILDING- DO NOT USE ELEVATOR – DO NOT USE STAIR CASE (Pray?)


Pres. George W. Bush: “I have opinions of my own – strong opinions – but, I don’t always agree with them.”

Literary Review in England: “For most people death comes at the end of their lives.”

Lancaster Ohio newspaper: “Health department says death certificates are to be ordered one week in advance of death.”

U.S. army official preventing overseas typhoid epidemic: ALL ICE CUBES WILL BE BOILED BEFORE USING. (sometimes it’s hard to follow orders.)

Heaven sounds great! But, do we use public transportation to get there? Sign on a church door in Pennsylvania: ”We shall be meeting on Wednesday, April 11th when the subject will be, “Heaven! How do we get there?” Transport is available at 7:55 PM from bus stop.” (I wonder if he gives guided tours.)

Kentucky newspaper, Herald Leader: “Free advice: Bundle up when out in the cold.”

Senator Bob Dole: “The future’s right in front of us.” (Where?)

Congressman in a debate: ”Mr. Speaker, this bill is a phony with a capitol ‘F’.“

Now let me quote a wonderful Greek philosopher, Simonides: “To be a great man, without blame, without question, also faultless, is very difficult. I am a friend of any who does nothing shameful.”


This article is part of a continuing series dealing with reports of Greek POWs in Asia Minor in the Thessaloniki newspaper, Makedonia in July 1936.

Top Stories


A pregnant woman was driving in the HOV lane near Dallas.

General News

NEW YORK – Meropi Kyriacou, the new Principal of The Cathedral School in Manhattan, was honored as The National Herald’s Educator of the Year.


Sour Patch Kids Oreos? Peeps Pepsi? What’s Behind the Weird Flavors Popping Up on Store Shelves

Van Leeuwen Ice Cream usually draws customers with gourmet takes on classics like vanilla and pistachio.

SYDNEY  — The Australian and New Zealand governments announced Tuesday they were sending planes to evacuate their nationals from violence-scorched New Caledonia.

WASHINGTON  — President Joe Biden and the Democratic National Committee said Monday that they raised more than $51 million in April, falling well short of the $76 million that Donald Trump and the Republican Party reported taking in for the month.

PHILADELPHIA - Pro-Palestinian protesters ignored a request by Drexel University's president to disband their encampment on Monday as arrests linked to campus demonstrations against the Israel-Hamas war surpassed the 3,000 mark nationwide.

Enter your email address to subscribe

Provide your email address to subscribe. For e.g. [email protected]

You may unsubscribe at any time using the link in our newsletter.