If American model Gigi “Empty Head” Hadid had two dogs she'd name them Rolex and Timex so that when she was asked why she could answer, “Hello! They're watch dogs.” On the dumb-o-meter she's down there below Kim “Look at My Butt” Kardashian and Paris “See My Sex Tape” Hilton. Dumb and Dumbest.
All of 24, which coincidentally is her IQ, Hadid and her twin twit sister Bella, adored by pre-teen girls everywhere who want to grow up to be just like them, visited the Greek hedonist island of Mykonos, famous for gouging tourists, and fit right in, up to the point where their villa – these types stay in those types of places – got robbed and she promptly blamed the entire country.
That disqualifies her from visiting New York City, of course, and every city and town on the planet earth, if she knows what planet she's on because she and her sister are way out there past Pluto and are qualified to do nothing but wear bikinis.
She had told people thinking of coming to Greece to “spend your money elsewhere,” and kept up her criticism even after being portrayed as a kind of dim-witted minor celebrity, especially after posting on Instagram a selfie of herself in a micro-bikini from her villa on the island.
“Don’t let insta fool u. Got robbed. Never going back lol. Wouldn’t recommend. Spend your money elsewhere,” Hadid said in her Instagram shot where she was wearing one of her signature micro-bikinis, but it was met with a furor of mocking and criticism that seemed to go over her head.
“Let me get this straight, you’re blaming the whole of Mykonos because you were robbed and in retaliation you’re trying to impact their tourism and economy by telling people not go to there? And all of this is done with a bikini pic? Okay girl,” one person commented.
Hadid responded to the backlash explaining that she had been “robbed along with more than 30 houses that night, some to gunpoint.” She claimed that she was unable to contact the Mykonos police except through her personal security without explaining why they weren't guarding her villa as well while she was gallivanting around the island.
Hadid also accused local authorities of not having the “training and resources” necessary to deal with the “amount of crime” that happens there, and the island's mayor had asked for more police to deal with the crushing numbers of tourists who face gouging prices and elbow-to-elbow crowds there.
She said her private security “is a privilege that most people traveling there wouldn’t have. If something happens while the police station is closed, there is nothing that can be done to protect yourself, and when the station does open, it doesn’t seem as though their training and resources are in line with keeping people safe or keeping up with the amount of crime that is happening on a nightly basis there (I am speaking of the island specifically only because it’s where I experienced this).”
Hadid explained that if she had known of the state of crime in Mykonos before her trip, she wouldn’t have traveled there so too bad she didn't go to Colombia or Sinaloa, Mexico instead.
“This is not information that is shared with people before they go,” she wrote. “If I’d known it happened so much and there was not enough infrastructure to protect myself I wouldn’t have gone. So this is my opinion based on actual events and you not liking that isn’t my problem.”
She ended her comment by snapping back at those who criticized her for posting photos from her vacation even after her robbery.
Hadid wrote, “Lastly, I work my ass off and never do a trip like this for myself and friends, so if I want to post pictures of the trip after being robbed, I will do so,” and there was ample evidence of her posterior in the thong bikinis she posted. Check pictures.
There's likely to be plenty of people willing to testify she works her ass off, undoubtedly one of her favorite positions, and one of the key reasons why she's soared to the top of the modeling world where all you need is a stern gaze, flat chest, empty head and no real talent except for walking like a giraffe on stilts.
How fitting she was graduated from Malibu High School in California, the world's capital of ditziness and vacuity so she must have been the valedictorian. In 2017, she tried to go to China for the Victoria's Secret Fashion show but her visa was revoked for being “racist” toward Buddha.
Heed your advice and never come back to Greece, a country where intelligence and art and philosophy and math and science and theater are treasured, which you'd know if you could read a book that isn't a graphic novel.
The best retort came on social media that said: 'This is very rude to Greece and Greek people! One of the main sources of income of Greece is its tourism and you’re literally defaming the country…Have you ever seen the crimes and killings that happen in your country? Let alone the mass shootings?...At least appreciate the beauty and the history of a country, which’s civilization has shaped your own country and culture.” Hello!